Irritability & Anger
What is irritability?
You may notice you become easily upset or frustrated if you're irritated. Often, irritability looks and feels like an overreaction to a situation. You may see that your reaction is more intense than is necessary, or someone in your life may have pointed it out to you (hopefully in a constructive way that didn’t make your blood boil). “Feelings of agitation, frustration, and impatience are all signs of irritability.”
First and foremost, we want to stress that feeling anger is okay!! However, how we react internally and externally to anger is generally where we see challenges. Our anger management program is designed to help you gain the skills necessary to deal with your anger in healthy ways. You will also learn how to communicate effectively, improve your interpersonal skills, and improve your relationship with yourself.
Why am I irritable?
Everyday annoyances can create irritability, and there are some medical causes.
Life stress
Even on good days, irritations creep up in many aspects of our lives. We lead busy lives. All those responsibilities you’re juggling — at home and work — take up a lot of space in your mind. The weight of your must-dos can make it harder to keep your mood in check.
Irritability can stem from life stressors like:
Relationships (romantic, family, and others).
Financial worries.
Isolation.
Loneliness.
Job and work dynamics.
Burnout.
Sleep (or lack thereof)
Getting quality ZZZs can make all the difference in your mood. “We are a sleep-deprived society. Sleep deprivation can lead to and fuel our irritability.” Sleep disorders such as sleep apnea and insomnia can also leave you groggy and irritable.
While some people will tell you that eight hours of sleep is the be-all-end-all, restorative sleep should be your goal. If you wake up exhausted after eight hours of shut-eye, you might need more or better sleep.
Caffeine
If you wake up tired, reaching for an extra cup of joe or energy drink is just what you need to kickstart the day with minimal irritation. Caffeine is a stimulant, and that jolt of energy is followed by a crash when it’s gone. Especially if you’re a heavy caffeine consumer, both under-caffeinated and over-caffeinated can trigger irritability. And there’s a fine line between the two. The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends healthy adults consume no more than 400 milligrams a day of caffeine. That’s about four or five cups of coffee.
Getting “hangry’
Being ‘hangry” (hungry + angry) is a real thing. “A drop in blood sugar can certainly cause feelings of irritability and impatience,” When your blood sugar gets too low, it triggers a cascade of hormones, including cortisol (a stress hormone) and adrenaline (the fight-or-flight hormone). The release of cortisol can cause aggression in some people. Low blood sugar also may interfere with higher brain functions, such as those that help us control impulses and regulate our primitive drives and behavior.
Medical causes
Irritability can be a symptom of a medical condition as well. It’s often associated with:
Chronic pain due to a medical condition or injury.
Chronic illnesses.
Side effects of medication or medication withdrawal.
Seasonal affective disorder.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
Studies show that irritability can also be associated with a major depressive episode and that irritable children are more likely to experience depression and mood disorders as adults.
Strategies for coping with irritability
Managing irritability is essential for your health, relationships, and long-term well-being.
“Irritability can lead to depression, anxiety, panic, anger management issues, substance abuse and other conditions. Irritability in and of itself is probably manageable. Left unchecked, though, it can lead to more significant concerns.”
Irritability can also affect your quality of life, relationships, and work. After all, who wants to be around Grumpy Gus day in and day out?
Here are seven strategies to keep irritability at bay.
1. Reframe your thoughts
One strategy for overcoming negativity is to restructure how you’re thinking about the things you’re finding irritating.
For example, If you dread going to work on Monday and your thoughts center on, “I hate my job,” try to consider something positive about your work environment instead. Maybe it’s a work friend you go to lunch with or a nice view from your office.
Or maybe you’re irritated that you should be able to run a 10-minute mile, but you’re stuck at 12 minutes. Instead of thinking in terms of “should,” you can reframe that as “My goal is a 10-minute mile.” Semantics matter, even in the confines of your mind.
“It comes down to gratitude. It’s so easy to overlook the good things and focus on the bad things. Instead, take a step back and think, ‘What do I appreciate in this moment?’”
2. Set small, manageable goals
A never-ending to-do list can be unwieldy and irritating. Knowing you have approximately a zillion things to do can make anyone irritable. Break up your tasks into bite-sized chunks and congratulate yourself when completing each step.
3. Breathe
Research shows that taking deep breaths in times of stress makes you feel less agitated, slows down your heart rate, and lowers the amount of cortisol in your body.
Make a habit of practicing some deep breathing techniques for at least a few minutes each day. Your device’s app store likely has dozens of meditation and breathing apps to choose from as you start.
“The great thing about deep breathing is once you become accustomed to it, you can do it. It can be an effective tool because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, our natural relaxation response.”
It becomes a helpful tool to stop irritability when you become better connected with your breath and control your breathing to manage your emotions.
“Ideally, if you are more in tune with your body and what it’s telling you, you can start to do some breathing when your irritability is at 5 out of 10, rather than when it’s a 9 out of 10,”
4. Exercise
When you get your body moving and your heart pumping, you release endorphins — chemicals that relieve pain, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being. Think of endorphins as your body’s built-in stress-reduction system.
Physical activity keeps those feel-good chemicals pumping and can help improve your mood.
5. Practice self-care (it’s not selfish)
Take time out for yourself to “fill up your tank.”
“We have to prioritize self-care. Unfortunately, we often confuse self-care with selfishness — taking time out for ourselves means neglecting other things in our lives. I often remind my patients that investing in self-care can result in closer and healthier relationships, improved sleep, and better work performance.”
Self-care is deliberately setting aside time to enjoy things that lift your mood. For some people, that can be:
Reading.
Taking a bubble bath.
Going for a walk.
Spending a night out with friends.
6. Make time for downtime
These days, human beings can seem more like human beings. Often, irritability flares up when we haven’t let ourselves have enough time to just … be. Slow down and take some time for downtime.
Some ways you can slow down:
Take some time to be in nature quietly.
Let yourself get lost in a book.
Purposefully leave your phone in another room for a set amount each day.
7. Share your thoughts and feelings
Putting your thoughts into words is a critical way to help you identify your feelings and not be trapped by them.
Talking with your support system, whomever they may be. Not only can talking about your problems allow you to gain clarity and advice, but it can also help strengthen your bond with those you confide in.
“Often, people are afraid of burdening others with their troubles. You may be given that person that gift by saying, ‘Let’s open up, let’s talk about this.’ You can also give them an opening to talk about their experiences.”
Another way to release your thoughts is through writing.
“Writing can be very therapeutic and allows us to organize our thoughts,”
To get started, try writing down:
Three things that you’re happy about.
Three things you’re appreciative of.
Three things that frustrated you and how you managed them.
Time to see a healthcare provider about your irritability?
We all deserve to live the best lives possible. Managing your emotional response will not only improve your daily functioning but can also improve your relationships with others.
There’s no wrong time to seek the support of a licensed mental health expert.
“Throughout my career, I’ve had several patients express guilt, embarrassment, or disappointment in themselves for coming to therapy. It’s important to remember that asking for help and receiving help isn’t a sign of weakness,” he adds. “I try to remind my patients that it takes a lot of courage to face their problems head-on rather than pretend like they don’t exist.”
Working with a healthcare provider can help you better understand what may be triggering your irritability and develop coping strategies.
